This is my modern family. We are a blended family and beautifully different. But it wasn’t always that way. There was a lot of rain before the sunshine finally came.
I was a young adult when my parents broke the news to me that they were getting divorced. Growing up, I was taught of the eternal bond between families, so I struggled to come to terms with my family’s new status. I retreated into a lonely shell of pain and anger. It felt as if the clouds of negativity were pouring on me. At times, I blamed myself, wondering if I were better or if I had done things differently, would it have kept my family together. I felt inadequacy because of my parents’ divorce and that others would consider me spiritually inferior. I struggled in my belief of true and eternal love. To add more pain, my dad passed away shortly after my parents’ divorce.
It was the most trying time I have ever experienced in my life. I often wondered why. Why was my family falling apart? Why did my dad pass away? Honestly, some of those questions still remain unanswered. Consequently, I’ve had to rely on and trust in God’s omniscience.
Some of the things I’ve learned from those trials are that it is okay to be upset and grieve about the divorce or loss of a family member. When we try to repress deep emotions, we rob ourselves from confronting the truth and finding healthy ways to heal. I’ve found that it’s important to be patient with yourself. Sometimes it takes a while, but there is always hope for happiness. I’ve also learned that I’m not responsible for my parents’ mistakes—or anyone else’s for that matter. Also, I’ve learned that you can still have a meaningful and loving relationship with each parent, regardless of their marital status. We can learn to be instruments of peace in our family and to successfully navigate new family relationships. Through my trials, I was also blessed to be surrounded by people who lifted my spirits when I felt low. To anyone going through similar trials, my suggestion is to find people who you can lean on and go to for support.
Although my parents marital relationship ended, I strengthened my own spiritual relationship with our Heavenly Father. I was reminded that there is no trial or pain that our Savior does not understand because He endured it all during his mortal life. His loving atonement can be the anchor to our soul when we feel we are drowning in depths of despair. I realized that all I had to do was reach out to our Savior to find peace and happiness. His atonement provides peace and full understanding of His eternal plan. As we experience hardships, we must trust in living our covenants and enduring to the end to attain eternal life and all the blessings it entails. God loves all of us and wants us to find happiness. “For the Lord hath heard thy prayers, … and hath sent me to declare unto thee that thou mayest rejoice” (Mosiah 3:4) Sometimes it’s hard to imagine that there will be light at seemingly endless tunnels of hardships, but if we press on, one step at a time, the light at the end is inexplicably satisfying. Through my experience, I have learned that we can replace feelings of pain and anger with forgiveness and love.
It’s been a few years since my parents’ divorce and my dad’s passing. At first, I felt a huge gaping hole in my heart, but I’ve learned to fill it little by little with love. Nothing will ever go back to “normal,” and I’ve learned to accept that too. Despite not having my dad around to celebrate with me the little and big events in my life, I’ve felt his presence on numerous occasions. Sometimes, the veil is so thin. I have felt his undeniable love flowing through me and a reassuring feeling that he’s never too far away—just like our loving Heavenly Father. I truly look forward to the day we will reunite.
My family has changed a lot through the years. My mom has remarried, and we have added a step dad, step sister, and brother to our family. These additions have provided more love to share. I have found a new friend in my stepdad. Simply put, our blended family continues to grow in numbers and in love for one another.
Of all the blessed additions our family has received, my greatest blessing was marrying Benj. Even though I experienced those difficult trials, I have regained eternal hope in marriage and family. I have been spiritually and emotionally strengthened by overcoming those hardships. I am grateful that I have been able to establish my own family through temple marriage. A marriage in which we work hard to compromise, to work through solving differences we have together, to keep the commandments, and to help each other accomplish our goals. It is a labor of love.
In sharing my family’s story, my hope is that anyone struggling with their own difficulties can know that there is hope. I feel blessed that I found happiness through the Savior, confronting my pain, finding supportive people, and moving forward in life with faith. No matter the winds of adversity we face, there is even more hope and happiness to be found.
My loving dad, George Pasi. I think about you everday… Love and miss you more than words can ever explain. 
My Sweet Husband, Benj. 
My beautiful mum and stepdad, Puni.
Kinda love these people a lot!
