In honor of Tongan language week, the word of the week I would like to share is tauhi vā.
Tauhi literally means to care for or nurture. Vā means space between things or people. These two words combined, tauhi vā, creates a powerful meaning: to nurture and care for the relationships between people. Tauhi vā is more than just one of our core Tongan values; it is a call to action. Tauhi vā means looking after one another in our family, friendships, and community. To me it means more than just maintaining good relations; it means loyalty and keeping commitments to those we care about.
I have seen firsthand, numerous examples of caring people who tauhi vā, and I have seen how it has blessed others’ lives. It is one of the virtues I really admire in Tongans. Tongans know how to rally around those who are mourning or those who are in distress in times of need. It also means you can count on many helping hands on special occasions in your life. Tauhi vā truly comes from the heart, and it creates strong bonds of love with one another.
One special bond of love was the one that formed between me and my maternal grandmother, Siutiti Finau Piutau Tongi. Both of my parents worked hard to provide for our family, so in their absence, she was our main caretaker. I remember when I was young, feeling somewhat embarrassed that my grandma spoke limited English—even though she immigrated from Tonga to Hawai’i. This really forced me to become fluent in Tongan, so I could fully communicate with my grandma.
Looking back on that experience, I am so grateful for it! Not only did my Grandma teach me Tongan, she shared a plethora of her knowledge of Tongan culture and customs with me as well. My grandma taught me through her words and her actions. To me, she embodied so many of the Tongan values: love, respect, maintaining good relations, and humility. Her lessons helped shape who I am today, a first-generation Tongan-American. I am proud of my roots from Tonga and of the ones I diligently plant here in America. Although we were a poor Tongan family, my life felt enriched with all the knowledge my grandma and many others in my Tongan community have shared with me. The same knowledge that I hope to someday pass on to my own children.
I once heard somewhere, and fully agree with the saying, that “the easiest way to lose your culture, is to lose your language.” Similarly, if you have the desire to learn more about the Tongan language and culture, it’s not too late to begin learning to speak Tongan. Fortunately, in this day and age, there are numerous resources to help you learn (my palangi husband is eagerly trying to learn Tongan). I hope we can continue to honor and to share some of these beautiful Tongan values with those around us, including tauhi vā. We should all strive to practice tauhi vā in our families, friendships, and communities. Wishing everyone a happy Tongan language week.
My beautiful grandmother, Siutiti Finau Piutau Tongi on my baptism day in Laie, Hawaii.
